


Attached

by healing



Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-16
Updated: 2013-08-16
Packaged: 2017-12-23 16:45:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/928792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/healing/pseuds/healing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Getting attached was never a part of the plan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Attached

**Author's Note:**

> Set sometime mid-game-ish. No real spoilers unless you don't know anything at all about Alvin's character yet.

Alvin never cries. Alvin never cries, except when he does, his shoulders shaking and chest heaving and sometimes he can't help but bark out a laugh when the tears sting the corners of his eyes because mercenaries don't cry. He almost envies Jude — Jude has always cried openly and freely, and he had never been ashamed of it. He doesn't see it as a weakness like Alvin does.

There's only one time during their journey when Jude catches him. The group usually splits up into two rooms at the inn, but this time they had gald to spare and so they decided to splurge on a rare luxury. But Jude isn't used to sleeping alone anymore — he's used to Alvin teasing him before passing out and he's used to Rowen's snoring. Everything is too quiet.

A walk sounds like a good idea, but when he steps out of his room he can't help but notice that the door next to his is creaked open. Alvin's room.

Curiosity gets the better of him when he peers through the crack in Alvin's door and sees it. Jude just stands there, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, because is Alvin _crying_? He couldn't be. Rappigs flying were more likely than that.

But then Jude remembers that Alvin doesn't have to keep up that carefully constructed mask when he's all alone, and Jude's chest aches, because he wishes Alvin didn't have to wear that mask at all. He doesn't understand _why_ he has to wear it. But after that, he doesn't do much thinking anymore — instead, he acts on impulse alone and moves forward to open the door, standing by the doorway until Alvin slowly, very slowly, turns around and manages a pathetically weak smile. His eyes are red.

"Isn't it way past your bedtime, kid?"

Jude doesn't say anything, meeting Alvin's eyes with a steady gaze, and then Alvin knows he's been caught because he mutters a _damn it_ under his breath and swipes at his eyes, turning away with a defeated frown. Jude closes the door before stepping forward and moving to sit down next to him, so close their shoulders are touching. He almost expects Alvin to move away, but he doesn't.

A brief silence passes before Jude says anything. "You don't have to hide it anymore, you know. Not around me. I'm your friend. _We're_ your friends. Whatever it is — we can help you."

"Don't know what you're talking about. I'm not hiding anything," Alvin replies, his tone annoyed and dismissive, and he almost laughs at how utterly transparent the lie sounds — just when did he let himself fall apart like this? He refuses to meet Jude's eyes, choosing to stare straight ahead at the wall, instead.

"Alvin," Jude starts, but before he can continue Alvin is turning on his side and pulling the blankets up over him, effectively shutting Jude down. A few seconds pass before Alvin finally speaks.

"Look, you didn't see anything, alright? Now go get some sleep. Honors students like you need their rest."

Alvin lies there and waits until he inevitably hears footsteps and the door open and close again, but the footsteps never come. Instead, he feels the bed dip and the covers shift, and then a warm body is pressed to his, arms slowly and hesitantly encircling his waist. Alvin immediately tenses up, eyes widening and heartbeat quickening, but he doesn't get the chance to ask Jude what the hell he's doing before Jude is pressing his head against his shoulder and muttering a very quiet, "Good night."

As soon as Alvin manages to relax, Jude's breathing is quick to even out, but Alvin doesn't fall asleep for a long time. He's too distracted — too shaken up by how good it feels to have Jude hold him.

He never wanted to feel this way — he never wanted to feel this way at all. Getting attached was never a part of the plan.


End file.
